I'm so angry!

Not really, but it did make you want to read on didn't it?

But this Sunday I am teaching on Anger. Your typical nice, easy going Sunday School lesson. :)

Amy Kuntz and I co-teach a women's Sunday Bible study, Oxygen, and we are journeying through Colossians 3. This week happens to be on anger and my turn to teach.

This can be such a confusing topic for us as humans, but especially as Christians... at least for this Christian. I know I struggle with it all the time.

I know the Bible says "be angry and do not sin" (eph 4:26). But what does that look like? And what do you do when you really feel anger?

I need your help!

Please comment and answer some questions.
*If you don't feel comfortable commenting, either comment anonymously or email me at beckyjkiser@gmail.com.

-What makes you angry?
-How do you deal with your anger?
-How do you interpret "be angry and do not sin"?
-Anything else you'd like to share?

When you comment please include your gender, age and religious affiliation (Christian, Muslim, Atheist, etc.) if you wouldn't mind. And yes I said "when"... I know for a fact there are more than 3 people that read my blog. Come out of hiding today dear friends, I need you. :)

Thanks!

First Trip to the E.R.

Yesterday I had my first trip ever to the E.R.

On Monday I started having the worst migraine I've ever had. It was kind of strange-- I hadn't had a migraine in a really long time, but this one more than made up for our lost time together. I felt like the whole world was pounding on my head and at any time I might vomit.

Finally yesterday after lunch I felt like I had no other choice, it was time to take an Excedrin Migraine.

Now for the normal person this is where the story would end.

I am not normal. Never have been. It's God's sense of humor or His way of humbling me... maybe both. :)

What you should know is that 75% of the time that I have taken Excedrin Migraine I've had a minor allergic reaction to it. By minor I mean the bottom part of my eyes would get a little puffy like when you've been crying or having a bad allergy day. Typically I take a dose of Benedryl and I'm fine in an hour and on my way to really great nap!

Well this time I thought I had beat it and I was looking at the 25% chance of it being ok. I took it at 1:30pm and at 3:00pm noticed that nothing had happened! Victory... and my migraine was gone!!

Then 3:30 came. I started feeling it, I could tell I was getting puffy. So I went to our medicine supply and we were totally out of Benedryl. Bummer. What to do?

I called Chris to see if there was any way he could come home. I just didn't feel safe being home by myself while having a reaction. Sweet man left work immediately. Then I decided to walk down to our neighbors house, the Trickett's, and see if they had any Benedryl. They did! 30 minutes later, after the sweetest 4 year old looking at me like I was an alien, I decided to see how I was doing and I saw this:

**Please laugh. I look like a I got in a fight with myself. I laughed when I saw it, so you can totally laugh! **

For those that don't know me, I don't usually look like this. Benedryl was not working and it was definitely getting worse. I called my allergist to let him know what had happened and to see if he could squeeze me in at the end of the day.

They told me to go straight to the E.R. What? This is crazy.

So as soon as that conversation was over Chris walked in the door and I told him what he said. He was so sweet and rushed to get us there as soon as possible.

By the time we go to the E.R. it looked like I was Hitch when he had that allergy attack. I wore my sunglasses inside to ensure that I wouldn't scare off any of the children.

They'd obviously seen worse and were not super concerned. 3 1/2 hours later I got a shot, an prescription, a bill and was on my way. The puffiness has definitely gone down, now I just look like I was crying all night.

So the lesson to be learned here is: Migraine + Excedrin Migraine + Becky = Emergency Room. I promised Chris I will never take it again. I am not as invincible as I thought. Good news though: the migraine is still gone!

It's really happening

I am actually leaving my job in 11 days.

On Sunday Pastor Gregg preached the most affirming sermon: "Build a What?" Listen to it here.

As we are journeying through the book of Genesis we've come to the story of Noah. So Sunday was all about how God calls us to do unexpected things. It was an affirmation that He knew I'd need as I'm facing lots of goodbyes and wrap ups I don't really want to do... but I do... but I don't.... :) I'm so thrilled knowing that His hand is all over what's to come, but sad to let go of where I've been. I know it's right and time to move on, but this place is home, this is my family and I'm comfortable here.

That's the problem, the Lord never called us to be comfortable and just as I was getting in my groove, He's called me down a new path. One that I NEVER thought that He'd call me to go down. But He has and He ALONE will receive full glory for whatever will come of this total faith step.

This past weekend I was listening to one of my favorite artists, Francesca Battistelli and I came across this song: "Keeping Me Guessing." My heart so connected to the words because Christianity isn't at all boring like I thought it might be 10 years ago when I gave my life to Him, it has been a wild ride and He really does keep me guessing!

If you don't already own it, go to iTunes immediately friends. Here are the lyrics:

Coffee cup waking me up
I gotta board a plane And fly away
sometimes it feels like I’m going at the speed of light
Can’t relax I’m movin to fast
I wanna find the gold But I don’t have a map
I wish that I could know
What you’ve got in store for me
I try and try to read your mind
But I forget that patience is a virtue
Your teachin me to hold on tight
And I don’t know how the story ends
But I'll be alright cause you own it
I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doing just fine
Cause your in control
Even when I don’t know Where my life’s gonna go
You’re keeping my guessing

Slow me down, show me around
I wanna see the world that I’ve been without
I am here and now the future is out of my hands
I trust in you and how you move
I won’t forget that patience is a virtue
You’re teaching me to hang on tight
Cause I don’t know how the story ends
But I’ll be alright cause you own it
And I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doin just fine Cause your in control
Even when I don’t know Where my life’s gonna go
You’re keeping me guessing

Seasons come and seasons go
But you decide
And I don’t know how the story ends
But ill be alright cause you own it
I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doing just fine
You’re in control Even when I don’t know
Where my life’s gonna go
ou’re keeping me guessing
You’re keeping me guessing

My First Fall Festival as a Hooker

Since FirstFest is tomorrow I thought I would share my first experience ever with a Fall Festival. If you need to go to the bathroom at all, I suggest you go and then come back and read this. :)

First you should know that Halloween is hands down my mom's favorite holiday. I know what you are thinking-- it's a miracle I grew up to be normal. :)

My mom went ALL OUT for Halloween. You know those little old ladies who have all the Christmas sweaters and their house looks like a Christmas Store. Well my mom wore a full witches outfit, cackled around the house for weeks and our house was a haunted house.

At the age of 7 I realized I had grown out of being a clown every year and I wanted to be my favorite character in my favorite movie.

Any guesses?

No not Cinderella. Not Ariel. And Hannah Montana wasn't even born yet.

My favorite character was Vivian in Pretty Woman.

I don't know why. I don't know how I had seen that movie at age 7 enough times for it to be my favorite but when the witch of Halloween is your guardian you can only imagine. (Note: I tease my mom here, she is definitely different than most moms... but she is a fabulous mom!) :)

So I put my clown suit in the attic and started on my costume-- I was going to be Vivian. Not Vivian after a massive shopping spree on Rodeo Drive, but Vivian the first 30 minutes of the movie.

You see as a 7 year old I didn't realize that meant I was dressing up as a hooker for Halloween. And my mother did nothing to stop me. Please tell me you are laughing now.

So here is a picture of me at age 7 (girl on right):

Now picture that sweet little girl dressed up like a hooker (you can see the cover of the movie at this link. I didn't want to post it since I know guys read my blog too).

For those visual people, you can imagine: my mom's knee high boots that went all the way up to my thighs, my skirt rolled up as high as I could get it, my shirt twisted inside out (remember that?) so my mid drift was showing, and as much makeup as I could find in my mom's bathroom.

Unfortunately that night it was raining. We went to the mall and it was lame. So my mom in her determination to make Halloween the best night ever started driving around to find something for us.

And that's when we saw the sign: "Free Fall Festival! Lots of Candy!" The tires came to a screech and we pulled right over. We all piled out of the car and walk into this sweet little church in the Heights.

At the first booth I walked up to they asked, "And what you are you for Halloween?"

I proudly proclaimed, "Pretty Woman." There was no shame. I was Vivian, fish net stockings and all.

So here I am exactly twenty years later and the Lord receives full glory-- because this year I'm running the Fall Festival at our church. The Lord always chooses the least of these. I'm so grateful.

So, it doesn't matter if you are dressing up as Bible Man, Spider Man, Hannah or... Vivian, I'd love for you and your family to be our guest for FREE this Saturday from 4-8pm at FirstFest. For more details go to: www.HoustonsFirst.org/FirstFest

Worst Gift EVER

Chris and I will be celebrating our two year anniversary in less than a month! So I looked online the other day to see what the traditional gift is for that year.

I was horrified. I mean horrified when I saw what it was. Any guesses?

C-O-T-T-O-N.

Are you kidding me?

For those that don't really know me this might be one of my greatest fears in all of life (well after this past Sunday I'm also afraid of Boa Constrictors).

I don't know what it is about cotton but it totally gives me the hibie-gibbies! The texture, the way it makes that stretchy noise when you pull on it. Ahhhh. And why does EVERY medicine and supplement bottle have to stuff it with cotton? I feel like a child when my husband has to open my medicine for me.

So honey, if you are reading this, the only cotton gift that would be acceptable would be Egyptian Cotton Sheets. But know I think that too is ridiculous and not part of the Ramsey Method. :)

So a final note to all loved ones: If you are hearing this information for the first time and think it would be really funny to chase me around with cotton or maybe hide it some where or anything like that... know that it's been done. And if you think you might be able to do it better, know that I am not one to be tested. When it comes to pranks I always go too far. I will cross the line and you will be sad you ever started.

Comment: So now that I've been vulnerable, it's your turn-- What is the one thing that gives you the hibie-gibbies?

18 days till unemployment*

That is so weird. The sadness of it all is starting to hit but also the excitement.

I've been reading in the Old Testament-- primarily studying the Israelites in the wilderness just before the enter the promised land. I feel like I can relate so much to what is happening. I am literally facing stepping into a new territory. Like them I am starting to think that maybe I'm crazy to move on, that I'm comfortable here. That there are some giants on the other side that I am terrified to face.

Deuteronomy seems to be filled with Moses giving lots of instructions of what to do and what not to do. He is so careful to add: DO NOT ADD OR TAKE AWAY FROM THE COMMAND OF THE LORD. The Lord knows us so well! We love to make our edits or tweaks to things to make them work for us or fit in our comfort zone.

My lesson for my ladies class on Sunday over viewed the kings of Israel from Solomon to Josiah. I saw the same cycle: worship God, God blessed them, grew prideful, put up idols/high places/altars to other gods, repent, worship God, God blessed them, grew prideful, put up idols/high places/altars to other gods, etc. It was cycle that they never broke.

I don't want my life to be lived in a cycle, but to be a escalating journey! I don't want to grow lazy or prideful, but simply be used of God... whatever that looks like.

So I'm excited of whats to come. But for the next 18 days I'm committed to making the most of my remaining time here. I want to leave a legacy... of excellence not pride/laziness.

So as my husband would say: "Make it a good day!"

*Unemployment: If you are just hearing about me leaving my job, you might be confused. You can read more about my unemployment here. :)

Accountability

For years I longed to have a person or a group that was made up of mutual accountability. Several groups or people started... but all fizzled out.

Last spring I went to an AMAZING accountability work shop that our church hosted. And guess what? They are doing one again. Here is the information:

Wed, Oct 28 @ 6–8:30 pm – Connection Center

With Vicky Wright and Carolyn O'Neal
Accountability groups speak truth in love and encourage each other to walk out their faith and go deeper in their relationship with Christ.
CONTACT jessica.villalpando@HoustonsFirst.org, 713.957.7642

Click here to register.

Y'all this workshop is a-maz-ing! I learned such a great model of what it can and does look like. To make things even better, I formed the most amazing group with 3 other ladies. It is so amazing how the Lord pulled it all together.

If you aren't able to go but are interested in accountability, let me know and I'll connect you with the leader for it all at Houston's First.

Good Morning Bo-Bo

Y'all I have never laughed so hard in a church bathroom as I did yesterday. I know that's a strage way to start off, and you've got to be wondering where this could go.

So I was in the ladies room at church yesterday and I heard a mom on the outside of the stalls talking to her 3 kids that were each in a separate stall. And this is the conversation that proceeded:

Mom: Let me know if you need me to wipe your bo-bo

Me: (thinking to myself) what's a bo-bo

Child 1: Mom, I don't need you to wipe my bo-bo, but...

Me: (thinking to myself) what could this child possibly be about to say

Child 1: Mom, my bo-bo wants to say (screaming voice starts here) "GOOD MORNING TO YOU!" (insert massive laughter here)

Me: (thinking again to myself) What?! Did that kids say what I thought they said?!

Child 2: (screaming and laughing) No Mom, my bo-bo wants to say "GOOD MORNING TO YOU"

Me: (thinking again) I am so thankful I am where I am because I might pee in my pants. Keep your laughter silent Becky. Don't laugh out loud. Mom, how in the world do you keep a straight face right now.

Child 3: (screaming and laughing even louder): NO MOM, MY BO-BO WANTS TO SAY "GOOD MORNING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!"

Child 1, Child 2, Child 3: (all screaming and laughing) No me... no me... no me...

Mom: (same voice as before, not even a hint of smile in her tone) Ok, well open up.

I was dying laughing! It's such an odd gift moms have to not be phased by this. I can't imagine what life will be like when a normal conversation with my child will involve saying "Good Morning" to their... ahem... bo-bo.

The Mafia and Me

A year after we moved in we found out that we lived next door and across the street from the mafia.

No I didn't misspell anything, you read that right the M-A-F-I-A! Not just any regular Mafia member either, the Captain.

So as soon as I heard that I FREAK OUT and immediately told Chris we had to put our house on the market and move as far away as possible. Of course I totally played into the fear and did way too much internet research. Sidenote: if you ever find out you live by the mafia, don't do that-- statistics aren't comforting.

Well after we considered moving, we really felt like we needed to stay in this house a while longer. It's kind of crazy but we were actually safer being next-door-neighbors with the captain of the mafia-- no one messes with him or his area.

But recently I started getting a little nervous. I'm leaving my job in a month and I'll be at home during the day a lot more by myself. Fear was starting to really play into my life again.

But guess what?

THE MAFIA IS MOVING... actually they got evicted (brave landlord).

Is that so the Lord or what?! Love it.

Tip: Washing Hands

I've been hearing everyone talking about washing your hands... especially with the swine flu going around (BTW: Chris' little bro, Colton, has swine flu-- please pray for him).

You know how they tell you to sing Happy Birthday twice and that's how you know that you've washed your hands long enough? Well I tried it yesterday. I looked at myself in the mirror while singing in my head and just laughed at myself. I felt ridiculous.

Well last week I felt so convicted about not making scripture memorizing a priority in my life.

So I decided instead of singing a ridiculous song to myself, I'd just recite (out loud at home & in my head in public) my verse! Since I've started drinking an insane amount of water (by insane I mean the recommended amount by my nutritionist), I am quoting it a ton and it really is sticking!

Thought I'd share a tip since most of us struggle with scripture memory.

Comment: I'd love to hear what verses you are memorizing or meditating on... or are choosing this very minute to meditate on now. Please share! Mine will be in the comments.

Sign it might be an interesting day:

Forgetting to brush your teeth.

It totally happened to me today. You would think I was a 7th grade boy... but no, I am a 27 year old working adult woman and I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. I think. I honestly don't remember doing it or not.

Don't worry though a co-worker had toothpaste and I will be chewing gum all day. That's almost the same, right? Oh man. So embarrassing. This is what I get for praying earlier this week that the Lord would grow me in humility.

Today should be interesting... :)

Update: I couldn't take it and after lunch stopped at CVS to buy a toothbrush and toothpaste. Minty fresh now. :)

What should I write?

Since I "retire" in just 38 days, I have been dreaming more about what's next.

One thing I keep coming back to is to write something. I have a few ideas that I'll share soon. Also, I don't know if it will be a Bible study or a book. I had always thought that I would write a Bible study first since I've written a few before (like printed out from a Word document). But lately I've been having all these ideas for a book.

I love how the Lord is making this CONTROL FREAK wait on His timing and leading. Well if I'm honest, I love it and hate it. :)

So... that's where your feedback comes in:

What would you recommend for topics for a book?

This is a book that would be primarily geared for ladies 20 - 35 (but hopefully it would reach more than that) both single and married.

Emery is here!

She actually has been for some time now... but she came during our blog break or else you know this proud Aunt would've posted some pics sooner (you can look at my Facebook page and Twitter for more pictures).

Here are some of my favorite pictures of her from her newborn photo shoot:

I really don't believe I'm biased-- she is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. I have often thought to myself: "Will I be able to think my child is even cute now?" :) I'm joking... well half joking. I know either way the mother's love kicks in and most babies don't have the privilege of starting off this cute.

She is just one of the sweetest babies too. Her cry isn't one of those piercing cries (unless it's become that way recently). She is already so expressive-- she makes the funniest faces. I love how she can just stare into your eyes forever. She's starting to smile... but you have to be willing to sacrifice all pride and go to a place of ridiculous noises and faces to get one. It is so sweet how she can totally tell when her Mom and Dad are holding her-- they can put her at ease in seconds.

I took my remaining vacation days and went to spend a week to be a stay-at-home-Aunt in September. I definitely have a lot more respect for all the mom out there-- those that work and those that stay home. It was certainly a wake up call for me of what it really is like... WAY different than babysitting. :) I had such a great time though just spending the day staring at her, caring for her, praying over her,... and spending a whole week with Nils and Katie! It was nice to just live life with them. Usually all we have is rushed weekends or holidays, so it was a nice change of pace.

I could go on and on about this little one... but my lunch break is officially over.

Aunt

We're Back... But I'M LEAVING!

Wow it’s been such a long time! Honestly I was ready to come back to “blog world” a month ago but I’ve been having such a hard time figuring out how to “come back.” Sounds silly I know.

I guess the biggest announcement from the summer is that… drum roll please… I am leaving my full time position at Houston’s First on November 13th. (For all you that started to hold your breath… we are not pregnant. Patience my friends, patience.)

This has been one of the hardest processes I’ve ever been through. So I’ll walk you through it…

Last Fall was probably one of the hardest personal seasons I’ve ever walked through… actually maybe this whole year has been! But anyway back to last fall. I felt this constant urge from the Lord that something was coming, something was beginning to stir. Then it started to happen… everywhere I went, whether it was scripture or a sermon or a friend or song, I heard a very clear message: “GO!”

This process first began with my reading through Genesis and I stopped for a while in chapter 12 verse 1: “Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘GO from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” I knew in my spirit immediately that I was dead on with where the Spirit was leading. The urging I was feeling was that I was supposed to GO to a land that He would show me. So I turned in my 9 months notice (you would’ve thought I was pregnant… in fact that has been the rumor).

It’s hard to believe that in just 45 days I will really leave. I will still teach Oxygen at 8:20 every Sunday, and I won’t miss the chapel worship at 9:30 and we are so in love with our class, Veritas, at 11:00. So I’ll still be a member, and probably the most overcommitted volunteer, but I will not longer be on staff.

Identity crisis is beginning to surface. I already cringe every time people hear I’m leaving because they also reply back with: “So what are you going to do?” I know I sound like a lunatic when I say: “I don’t know. Still waiting on the Lord.” I think the truth is I know what I am going to do. I feel so lead to start writing and speaking more. But there is this fear that I’m not old enough, wise enough, know enough about the Word… basically that I’m not enough. But I think that is exactly where the Lord wants me. Because in Him I am enough.

Looking back on my life I can see that just as I became comfortable the Lord leads me “to a land that He has yet to show me.” Every time He does it. I don’t know why I am still shocked by it. I mean who leaves Texas A&M before their senior year and 9 hours shy of the coveted aggie ring? leaves Dallas to move back home to live with their parents and finish up school at UofH? Who leaves the fabulous PR world to work in church (with a ministry salary)? And who leaves working at a church like Houston’s First? But I know the Lord called me then and is calling me now. And just as He was faithful through all those moves, He will be faithful again.

One of my favorite verses in all of scripture is Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Wow… I just happened to keep reading and stopped at verse 11 & 12: “So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent. For you shall GO OUT in joy and be led forth in peace…”

Even now He continues to confirm that it is time and that He will provide when I GO!

In Genesis 12 Abram didn’t even know the land that He was been called into. But he still packed up his whole family and started the journey. It ended up being more than 1000 miles. I can hardly pack Chris and I up to go see family 200 miles away and we have a car and it’s just the two of us and I know when I’ll be back. Can you imagine being told to GO and having no clue what could happen to your family… what harm you might be placing them in.

Oh I want to be like Abram and desire God’s call more than any of my fears! And God is always faithful… look at what came from Abram/Abraham’s line. Wow.

Blog Break

I'm going to be taking a break from the blog for a while-- if you couldn't already tell. :)

There is A LOT going on in my life right now and the blog has fallen last on the list of priorities. When we come back we'll be sure to fill it with lots of updates on our life, but for now my journal will be where I work things out and record things.

I'm sure most of you have stopped checking the blog by now since it's been A LONG time since I posted, but I thought I'd let those fatihful ones know what's going on.

I'll be sure to send an email and Facebook blast when thekisers are back in blogworld!

Much love,

This song describes my life right now

"I’m Letting Go " by Francesca Battistelli

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling
and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

ChorusI’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling
and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me

I’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling
and that’s what it’s like to believe

Feels like I’m falling
and this is the life for me

This is why he won...

Can't wait till his album comes out! So talented!

Proof that I'm still alive

About a month ago I spoke at a Mother/Daughter event at Trinity Baptist! Paula and Erin tagged along to support me for a quick 24 hour roadtrip. We hopped out of the car to grab some pics with a few remaining Texas Bluebonnets.

I'm sorry for the silence lately. Things are ABSOLUTELY CRAZY in our world. We are both working like mad and I've been super run down by these Houston allergies!

I promise to update more. :)

Love,

On Behalf of Miss California

I didn't watch the pageant but I have heard all about it the past few mornings on the Today Show (my make-up-application-and-final-cup-of-coffee entertainment each morning).

Let me offer an opinion I have YET to hear from a single media outlet...

First, let's look at the facts. This is EXACTLY what was said:

Perez Hilton asked Miss California, Carrie Prejean the following question:
"Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?"

Miss California's response:
"Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," Carrie said to a mix of boos and applause. "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."

The uproar over her response has been incredible. Perez and many other media outlets (including Fox News) and blogs across the nation are outraged that she would say such a thing.

First, let me say that if she had said the opposite, if she had said that she was pro-same sex marriage she'd be the hero across the nation (at least to the media). But she didn't. So what is their response? "She should have left her opinion to herself and leave her religion and personal opinion out of it."

Seriously? The question asked what her personal opinion was. She actual chose to say a pageant/politically correct disclaimer by saying that she thinks that it is great that we live in a country where you have the right to chose. Then she answered the question, but "I think..." and then shared her opinion that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Growing up being raised by an independent mom and a democrat step-mom, I tend to have a bit more liberal views than most Christians when it comes to political issues. However the issue right now isn't same sex marriage. The issue is allowing people-- on both sides-- to have the opportunity to really share what they think.

So for all of us-- Christian or Jew or Muslim or Atheist, Male or Female, Straight or Gay, Skinny or Overweight, US Citizen or Immigrant-- why don't we all start listening to one another? We don't have to agree. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE TOLERANT. But we should at least hear the other side out and... respond in love.

Balancing the Extremes

I can be an extreme person. In my brother's "Man of Honor" toast at our wedding he said it perfectly: "When Becky does something she goes all out... that can be frustrating at times." That comment ensued lots of laughter, but it is true.

I either do something 150% percent or not at all. This might seem like a blessing and when I am going for something good, it is. But if I need to commit to something and I haven't, it is a curse.

Two examples:
1. Hanging my clothes up: I either hang them all up-- I mean color coded by type (tank, short, 3/4, long, etc) OR they lay on the guest bedroom (a.k.a. my changing room) bed until I wear them again.
2. Diets/Lifestyle changes: I go all out and don't cheat once OR I last 24 hours and go back to square one b/c I ate a tablespoon of something "bad."

So last week I had enough with my health issues and had enough with being at this weight. I used to do this detox called the Master Cleanse. It had always had given me fabulous results with my health (no flare ups/issues for months). And a bonus was I'd always lose weight and if I ate right afterwards, I'd even keep it off. So Wednesday I started the detox. The first 3 days are always terrible. By terrible I mean you have chewing withdraws, upset stomach, headaches, etc. Not a fun experience-- but you are getting the junk out.

Well at 1am that morning (still up convinced something is about to come up) I was so convicted. By the way, I love when the Lord keeps you up or wakes you up to teach you something. I always know I need to listen-- He is demanding my full attention.

I just felt like He was telling me to stop it with the extremes-- balance is needed in my life. In all areas of my life, not just my health.

I realized that I wanted an extreme result... and I wanted it extremely quickly. Yes my intentions weren't all bad. I want more than anything to not have to deal with my health issues. It wasn't a bad thing to want to detox my body. And it wasn't an even bad thing to want to lose some weight. But (for me) I need to do it in balance.

I decided I would talk to Erin DuBroc (genius nutritionist and friend) when I got to work that next morning. Y'all guess who was in my office that morning? Yep, Erin. She was dropping something off for Debbie. As soon as I saw her I said: "OK OK Lord, I'll listen to whatever she says." I asked her about detoxes and what her thoughts were. She confirmed what I had thought: they just aren't necessary. If you treat your body right, it will naturally detox itself. And then she said some other things I needed to hear (conviction meets encouragement). :)

Anyway, I am so thankful I started the cleanse because I felt like it did cleanse me out-- I needed to be cleansed from my extremes. I need to find proper balance in all areas of life: my walk with the Lord, my marriage, my friendships, my job, my health... everything. So that is what I am working towards. It has been a refreshing 5 days.