I can be an extreme person. In my brother's "Man of Honor" toast at our wedding he said it perfectly: "When Becky does something she goes all out... that can be frustrating at times." That comment ensued lots of laughter, but it is true.
I either do something 150% percent or not at all. This might seem like a blessing and when I am going for something good, it is. But if I need to commit to something and I haven't, it is a curse.
Two examples:
1. Hanging my clothes up: I either hang them all up-- I mean color coded by type (tank, short, 3/4, long, etc) OR they lay on the guest bedroom (a.k.a. my changing room) bed until I wear them again.
2. Diets/Lifestyle changes: I go all out and don't cheat once OR I last 24 hours and go back to square one b/c I ate a tablespoon of something "bad."
So last week I had enough with my health issues and had enough with being at this weight. I used to do this detox called the Master Cleanse. It had always had given me fabulous results with my health (no flare ups/issues for months). And a bonus was I'd always lose weight and if I ate right afterwards, I'd even keep it off. So Wednesday I started the detox. The first 3 days are always terrible. By terrible I mean you have chewing withdraws, upset stomach, headaches, etc. Not a fun experience-- but you are getting the junk out.
Well at 1am that morning (still up convinced something is about to come up) I was so convicted. By the way, I love when the Lord keeps you up or wakes you up to teach you something. I always know I need to listen-- He is demanding my full attention.
I just felt like He was telling me to stop it with the extremes-- balance is needed in my life. In all areas of my life, not just my health.
I realized that I wanted an extreme result... and I wanted it extremely quickly. Yes my intentions weren't all bad. I want more than anything to not have to deal with my health issues. It wasn't a bad thing to want to detox my body. And it wasn't an even bad thing to want to lose some weight. But (for me) I need to do it in balance.
I decided I would talk to Erin DuBroc (genius nutritionist and friend) when I got to work that next morning. Y'all guess who was in my office that morning? Yep, Erin. She was dropping something off for Debbie. As soon as I saw her I said: "OK OK Lord, I'll listen to whatever she says." I asked her about detoxes and what her thoughts were. She confirmed what I had thought: they just aren't necessary. If you treat your body right, it will naturally detox itself. And then she said some other things I needed to hear (conviction meets encouragement). :)
Anyway, I am so thankful I started the cleanse because I felt like it did cleanse me out-- I needed to be cleansed from my extremes. I need to find proper balance in all areas of life: my walk with the Lord, my marriage, my friendships, my job, my health... everything. So that is what I am working towards. It has been a refreshing 5 days.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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4 comments:
That was a Word for me! I can totally relate. It's all or nothing which turns into obsession most times!
God's lessons...got to love them. I'm so proud of you.
hi, becky -
my name is joanna, and I found your blog thru erin dubroc. sometimes at the end of the day when i've wrapped things up and i am killing time i'll look at blogs that my friends have listed on their blog roll. i promise i'm not a crazy stalker or anything!
since i still have time to kill today, i'll even comment :)
i'm like you...150% or not at all. same thing with the clothes - even organized the same way! in fact, just this weekend i actually took what seemed like hours and hung everything up so as to "start over". I did this while doing the master cleanse.
i had never done it before, but i knew others who had with good results, so i thought it would be a good way to jump start some healthy eating habits. i know i was looking for quick results too.
unlike you, i did not talk to erin, but i kind of imagined that i did! i had considered calling her and asking her what she thought, and i had a feeling about what she would say and it was pretty much what she told you! i made it through 4 days (if i drank one more sip i'm pretty sure i would have puked), and then i started on a raw food diet.
last june i went on a raw food detox for about 3 weeks, and i've never felt better than i did starting the second week on. it was incredible. i decided to do it for 2 reasons - i felt so crummy from the poor eating habits i had, and i needed to quit drinking diet cokes. so, sunday i got my list together, headed to central market and bought half of their produce department (at least it felt like i did!).
since i am the type to do all or nothing, this works for me because i'll do it full on for a couple of weeks. i think it's pretty much impossible to keep it up permanently, and honestly...i love steak, mexican, indian, sushi, etc. etc. too much to eat like this all the time! but this time around i realize that it is easier to adjust my diet to really be healthy than i thought it was. or maybe that it's an effort i can make without being all or none.
i've probably lost about 7 pounds since last week between the raw food and master cleanse, but since i've readjusted my focus to be about eating healthy and not losing weight (cliche i know) i've found that the stress of being "perfect" about this "diet" has been greatly lessened. by doing that i feel so great though! and it's a "detox" i feel comfortable doing because i'm still feeding my body. i just have to spend a little more time doing food prep. i think that by sticking to this for a little bit i am encouraging myself.
i hope you are able to find a balance. i know it's something i work on every day, but i've learned to be patient with myself! you're not alone though, and God is so great about helping us with this.
so glad God used me, becky! thanks for the shout out and i'm so glad my somewhat balatant opinions were well-received :)
jo - i love that you commented on here...so fun! glad to read you're achieving more balance and a less perfectionist approach, too.
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